A LESSON IN GRATITUDE FROM THE GIRL IN THE YELLOW DRESS.

I recently returned from a trip to India where I had an opportunity to share my leadership message with a group of Indian based business people and entrepreneurs. Every time I have travelled abroad I have learnt, and this trip was no different. I learned that the need for better leadership seems to be universal! I learned that people all over the world have a desire to be more influential and I learned that my simple, straight-forward approach to building leadership capability has appeal in contexts other than just the Australian one.

I think the most valuable lesson I learnt though, was to be more grateful for what I have in my life. India is a land of contrasts. I was challenged and sometimes confronted with what I saw and experienced. A group of us visited a charity called Vision Rescue and went to the sites where they are helping India's poorest families escape the poverty cycle. These humbling experiences have broadened my perspective and have made me reflect on just how privileged many of us are.

We were sitting at a very busy intersection in Mumbai. This little girl came to my window and tapped on the glass, motioning towards her mouth, as if to say, "Please give me something to eat". There was sadness in her eyes. She made me think about my own two girls, about the same age. I knew they were warm and safe at home. When I got back to my hotel I Skyped my family. Tully, my five year old, excitedly ran towards the computer monitor to say hi to Dad. She proudly showed me her new yellow dress that she was wearing to kindergarten orientation that day.

Let's try to be more grateful for what we have. I know that I will, especially if I see a little girl in a yellow dress.

MAKE A DECISION AND GET ON WITH IT. IT'S WHAT LEADERS DO.

Have you heard of the ‘Mirror Manager’? This is the person who, when faced with a request to make a decision, says “I’ll look into it for you”, and typically doesn’t make a decision. Being decisive is what leaders do. It's what others look for in us.

The word ‘decide’ comes from the Latin, decisio, meaning to cut off. So when you make a decision, you are cutting off other options. It means that we can get on with things. 

Here are some ways that you can become more decisive and therefore a better leader. 

1. Don’t be afraid to be wrong. If you find out you are wrong, then make the right decision and move on. 
2. Take more risks.  If you are not prepared to take risks then you will definitely miss opportunities.
3. Be inclusive. Get your key people together, discuss the options and make a call. People will respond to opportunity and the responsibility of being involved in the process.
4. Empower others to make decisions. Encourage them to consider the alternatives, the pros and cons of each one and come to you with a recommendation.
5. Ask yourself what is the worst thing that could happen. Then ask yourself how likely is that outcome. Chances are the worst that could happen is very unlikely.

Being bold and demonstrating courage will inspire others. In the case where it might have been the wrong call, you simply own up, be accountable for your actions and go again. This behaviour will draw people and their commitment towards you. It’s what leaders do.

WHAT WILL THEY SAY ABOUT YOU WHEN YOU'RE NOT HERE?

You are walking through a graveyard and you see a headstone. You walk towards it and you see a name engraved on it. It's the same name as you. Wow! What a coincidence. You notice that there is a date of birth. It's the same as yours. You realise that you have died. What else is on the headstone? What does it say about the difference you made when you were on Earth? What was your legacy?

Okay, let's lighten up a bit and realise that you are not dead. Think about if you leave your current organisation. At some time in the future someone goes up to one of your ex-colleagues and asks them about you. They ask what you were like as a leader. How did you treat people? Did you grow and develop others? What difference did you make to people's lives?

What would they say about you? What legacy did you leave? Did you make a difference?

In my book, Road Rules for Leadership, I talk about 21 things that you can do to become a better leader. Rule number 21 is 'create your legacy now'. Don't wait until you have left your current organisation (or are dead). Make a difference!

Create your legacy now.

IF IT'S NOT A 'HELL YES' THEN IT SHOULD BE A NO

Imagine the next time you had to make a big decision you simply used this philosophy to guide you. If it doesn't feel like a 'hell yes' then it's a no. For example, 

• You advertise for a position on your team to be filled. You interview the best applicants. You aren't impressed. They are OK but you still have doubts. You are under pressure to get someone on board and get the work done.
• You field an enquiry from a potential new client. They have money to spend and needs to satisfy. You go through the process of getting to know them and their challenges. You have a nagging feeling that something's not right, but there's a need to generate more business.
• A colleague proposes a joint venture. The opportunity is exciting but the level of commitment is significant and it will require a serious shift in focus and direction for you and your team. 

Is your response to the opportunity a 'hell yes'? Are you passionate and excited about what it means for the future? Are you lit up by the potential?

If it is not a 'hell yes', then you have probably compromised. You have made the decision for reasons other than what is truly best for the future.

Imagine how much better our teams, our organisations and our relationships would be if we only said yes when it felt like a 'hell yes'!

FAKE IT AND YOU WON'T MAKE IT

 What is the opposite of authentic? I’ll bet you thought of fake, false or phoney. Am I right? Here is the thing with leadership – pure and simple. If you are not authentic you are a fake. If you are not authentic, you are not who you say you are. You are not the real deal, and your people know it. It is a fact that if people don’t see a high level of authenticity, they won’t follow you. It will be a major barrier to your effectiveness as a leader.

 
There is a lot you can do to increase your ability to influence your people. Here are five key things to focus on.
 
1. Do what you say you are going to do. Sometimes we don’t deliver on our promises because of reasons beyond our control. Other times we let ourselves off the hook. Perhaps we say yes and know in our hearts that we simply can’t deliver. Being authentic means that we don’t make promises unless we are sure we can make good.
 
2. Have difficult conversations without delay. No one likes conflict, but as a leader there are times when we need to show courage and address people and issues that we don’t want to. If we ignore the problems and delay acting on them, we simply aren’t being authentic.
 
3. Be consistent in your dealings with people. It’s a fact that we get on better with some people more than others. If we are inconsistent with how we deal with different people, and perhaps even play favourites, we will suffer in the eyes of others. Strive for consistency, even though it may be difficult.
 
4. Say what you mean and mean what you say. People appreciate straight shooters and straight talkers. I believe most people have good ‘BS detectors’. They will know if you are trying to mislead them or if you don’t believe what you are telling them. Tell it straight.
 
5. Be the same on the outside as you are on the inside. Faking it can be exhausting. If there isn’t alignment between who you really are and who you are pretending to be, you’d better be a really good actor. Keep it simple by being yourself.
 
Being a leader can be a tough gig. There are so many things to think about and make sure that we deliver on. It’s hard to say what area of leadership is most important, but if you ask me, without authenticity, you’ve got no hope.